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Boyfriend has gone into his man cave

Boyfriend has gone into his man cave

Question: Ive been dating this for 10 months. We've had a lovely
relationship so far till now. He blind-sided me with needing space to work.
He is a self-employed landscaper who waits for spring to appear so he can
start making money again. He struggles in the winter months when he doesn't
have work. He told me he doesn't have time for our relationship right now and
after a few months of getting back on track we can resume. I was not happy
about it and even got angry with him. He told me this is why he doesn't have
girlfriends because they are unwilling to understand the space he needs and
they leave him. I apologized for getting upset and told him I will do what I
can to understand. I have accepted the fact he needs his space but he hasn't
called or texted me for a month already. I have called and texted him a few
times which he did respond and was nice. Ive decided to no longer respond to
him because I want him to make the effort to contact me. So far I have heard
nothing after one month. I don't want to chase him. Though our relationship
has been lovely we have had our ups and downs. He doesn't trust people very
much especially women. Im independent and successful, I own my own home and
make enough money to live comfortably. He seems to always be struggling
financially. I have never judged him for it only showing him nothing but
respect and love. But it bothers him very much, he is very masculine man with
a lot of pride and he has mentioned several times that our relationship feels
unbalanced because I seem to be settled in life and he isn't yet, he said to
me "Your so sweet and I have nothing to offer you" I feel like he might be
having second thoughts about our relationship because of this. He has never
told me he loves me, he won't speak the words. But his actions throughout our
relationship spoke differently. He will only say he cares for me and he has
feelings for me. I did write him a 15 page letter that I respect his need for
space and he can take his time..but I also told him that if too much time
passes and I don't hear from him I have no other choice but to move on and
date other people. He never responded to the letter. He got it in the mail
over a week ago. I know he is a busy guy in spring he works from sun up to
sun down, he is the same age as me and he gets exhausted easy with his work.
He said he had to dig himself out of a hole because he was in financial
distress and needed to focus on this situation. I have no clue if he thinks
of me or misses me. I would like to think he does. I feel he loves me but not
quite sure what to do with me. I want him to give us another chance if he is
thinking this isn't going to work out. I made some mistakes...I feel on
several occasions I emasculated him on several occassions like showering him
with gifts on his birthday and christmas. He said it made everything feel
unbalanced. I feel like I shouldn't have told him I love him...Ive only
mentioned it twice..once when we hit the 6 month mark then the 9th month
mark. I love him very much and I don't want to lose him. I wish I knew what
he was thinking?

Answer: this is indeed a difficult situation. He is going to stick to his statement that he will be unavailable in the spring. He is not the kind to read an entire 15 page letter. To be honest, what I am sensing is that it put him off a bit as it was more than he wanted to read. I get the feeling that he cares for you but his mind just does not multitask like yours does. He focuses on one thing at a time. Right now it is work and he is not expecting your relationship to last. I know it hurts you to hear this, but I must be truthful with you. He expects your relationship to end up the way all his relationships have in the past, the women become frustrated, he is just not there for them during his working months and eventually they give up on him.

The only way you can have this man is to give him space, stop pursuing him and wait until his work season is over. IF you do that and stop showering him with gifts (that part really bothered him) he will resurface after a few months and you can resume the relationship. But this time you must downplay the financial advantage you have over him and STOP being so generous, it is going to backfire on you if you keep giving him stuff, as it really makes him uncomfortable.


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