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Is My Relationship Going To Make It?

Subject: Is My Relationship Going To Make It?

Message: I would just like to know if me and my boyfriend are going to make it?

We spoke about marriage but it was a mutual agreement not too.

We have 2 kids and 16 years straight through. We are going through VERY rough times right now. He has always been an addict. And we have live together since we were 18. And now, I think he is cheating on me. 

Please help!

Celeste

Hi Celeste,

Thank you for submitting your question.

It's Bruce - first things first...I'm sorry to hear about the pain and uncertainty surrounding your relationship with Bradley. It sounds like you're really hurting right now.

I'd ask you how you feel about his addiction but the fact that he stills lives with you and your children says it all. You accept it...(on some level) if not, he wouldn't be there.

A lot of my clients are in similar situations (spouses/partners with drug and/or alcohol problems) wondering what's wrong with their relationships or asking..."Is this going to work out." (Sadly, they rarely do if the addictions aren't addressed.) 

You just can't make good decisions when you're in a bad place.

It's natural for you to wonder if your relationship has what it takes to go the distance...after all, you've invested your entire adult life in this man and your family).

I understand how challenging and difficult things must be for you right now - trying to hold together a relationship with drug/alcohol addictions present.

In addition to Bradley shackling you and kids with this toxic burden, you're going through what you described as "VERY rough times right now" and to add insult to injury...you now suspect he may also be cheating. (Where there's smoke - there's usually fire.)

My instinct tells me this relationship isn't going to improve.
There's simply no evidence to illustrate that he's vested in you and the kids (or himself for that matter.)

He's a life-long addict, isn't providing you with the emotional support you need as a partner, and now you're dealing with infidelity.

I think for you and the kids' sake...it's time to make a change. A positive change and one that may not include Bradley.

Put your focus and energies into that. Being a great Mom, a strong, independent woman, and take care of yourself first (you've got to be a priority in somebody's life - start with being a priority in your own life first!)

Don't allow him to drag you into his hell - remember, his shit's all self-inflicted, that's HIS priority.

I know your relationship with Bradley is all you've known since you were 18 years old but it's not about quantity...
it's about quality and you definitely deserve an upgrade! (always remember: you're worth it!) 

If you continue to struggle with this Celeste and would like some help getting through this, click on:

Schedule a psychic reading at the top of the page here and then click the "Schedule a call" link next to my photo for a full list of my services

In the meantime...good luck and stay strong. Keep your head up and your eyes open!

Bruce

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